The Blended Family

Dear Future Family,
This week in class, a topic was brought up that I found very enlightening. It was the topic of the blended family. I am not in a blended family, however, many of my friends and extended family are. I can see how this has effected many of my loved ones and something that, although I have not experienced first hand, is a familiar concept to me.
Something that caught my attention was mentioned was the fact that the birth parent should be the one to do all of the “heavy duty” disciplining and the step parents should be the “fantastic aunt or uncle.” I think that this is brilliant because it causes far less conflict. Now, that’s not to say that the step parent should just let kids walk all over them. It also doesn’t mean that if there is a serious issue brought to the by one of the children that they should keep it secret from the birth parent. It simply allows the birth parent to know that their spouse will be helpful but not too tough on their children while the children have someone in whom they can trust and love, even if it is not their birth parent. As mentioned in an LDS General Conference talk by Elder Robert E. Wells, a member of the Quorum of the Seventy, "Parents of blended families need to reach a consensus early in their marriage regarding proper behavior and methods of discipline, and they both need to be prepared to adjust those plans as they deal with the children in the new blended family. Unless parents are united, children may become confused.”
It is important that the children can feel love from both parents and that they respect both parents. However, being part of a blended family takes time and patience for all members. Elder Wells said,” Stepparents need to be patient. Because emotional attachments between stepparents and stepchildren require time, it sometimes may take years to establish a united and harmonious blended family. Adults as well as children bring to a blended family experiences and expectations that can affect new family relationships. Some stepparents may need to play a secondary role in the life of a child. Rather than compete with a relationship between a child and a parent who is no longer in the home, stepparents need to concentrate on building a new relationship with the child.” Something else that Elder Wells mentions in his talk is that, “To generate unity, families need to share goals and time together. Church attendance, family home evening, family prayer, family councils, work projects, vacations, and leisure-time activities provide opportunities for togetherness. It is important that blended families use the best of former family goals and traditions and that they also establish new goals and traditions.”
Being in a blended family is not easy. It comes with much heartache trial. However, with time, patience, love and practice, it is possible to have one that is happy and successful.

Sydney

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Transitions in Marriage

06/17/17 Dear Future Family,             A couple of weeks ago, in my Family Relations class, we were talking about transitions in marriage. This is a topic that interested me greatly because I have recently become engaged and was curious to see what my fiancé and I may experience or have experienced already as we make this great commitment to one another. At first, we talked about the obvious ones like closet space, cleanliness, traditions, new-found quirks and other things that just come with living with someone. However, as we got deeper into our discussion, there was one thing that was brought up that I had not anticipated or that had even really crossed my mind. Boundaries.                       Now, these aren’t boundaries between husband and wife, although there are some of those as well. What really caught my attentio...
Read more

Women and Education

Dear Future Family, “A young woman’s education should prepare her for more than the responsibilities of motherhood. It should prepare her for the entire period of her life. ” – Dallin H. Oaks While I believe that a woman’s primary responsibility is to her family in the home, I also believe that education is an important tool that she can use to be a greater blessing to her husband, her children, her community, and the world. There is so much wonderful knowledge that can be gained by attending a university in which principles are taught that can be useful in many aspects in life. It is also a wonderful opportunity for one to gain social skills that will not only help the individual, but their children as well as others that they may have the opportunity to interact with. I am currently attending Brigham Young University-Idaho. It has been a truly incredible experience. I cannot imagine that I would be where I am now without the learning and experiences I have gained by attendin...
Read more