A Family System

Dear Future Family,
Every family is different. We all come from different cultures and backgrounds, which makes each family unique. As children grow up and start to have their own families, they often begin to follow similar patterns that their parents set. Sometimes, if a child is conscious of some of these patterns early on, they don’t want to continue them in their own families, so they will try to change them.
In the end, every family is a system. Everyone in the system affects one another, whether they realize it or not. Some of the ripple effects that are caused in the system are good and some are not so good. It is important to recognize what kind of system you want your family to be, so that you can prepare early on to create it by either keeping things that have formed positive experiences in your own life, adding things that you liked from other people’s families or perhaps eliminating things that you did not find as effective in your own family.
Some things that I really appreciated in my home growing up was that my parents would always be very open with us as their children and they expected us to be open with them as well. This created an environment in which everyone felt safe and close to one another. This is something that I want for my future family. I want us to be close and to have trust in one another. I want to be able to be honest and open with my spouse and my children and receive the same from them in return.
I have seen families that are closed off and that do not talk and communicate with one another, and as a result, they never form that bond of trust. There is a disconnect in their relationship and it prevents them from growing closer together. This can often result in hurt feelings, dishonesty, lack of trust and ultimately distancing emotionally and/or physically.
It is my goal to create a family system in which there are patterns that emphasize love, trust, honesty, and other principles that help to bind a family together. To do this, I have decided to start a journal that will record things that I have heard or seen that I feel would be effective in creating the kind of family system that I want. That way, I can start preparing now to someday be able to have a happy family based of positive patterns that I have collected throughout the years.
I am grateful for opportunities to move forward and change for the better. It is in challenging moments of change that I know I am moving closer to my goal of becoming the wife and mother that I hope to someday be.
Until next week,
Sydney

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